Remembering Teen Angst

I’ve been thinking lately about how it was like growing up as a teen in the 80’s and trying to live as a Christian.  After giving my life to Christ when I was ten, I didn’t really have much guidance from a mentor or an older person to tell me how I should live.  It was mainly modeled before me in the church I grew up in and watching how my parents lived  it in front of my watchful eye.  (That always reminds me, now that I have eyes watching me.)  I do know that I had something different in me that bugged me.  Something that always gave me this sense of right and wrong.  It  would overwhelm me at times.  I know this was the Holy Spirit in me, guiding me at a young age.  Keeping me from making some big mistakes in life.   But when I wanted to take over and run my life, there would be this battle that would go on, where I thought I knew what was best for me and I would make mistakes (0.k., sin) and I would inevitably end up in front of the church Sunday morning at the altar asking God’s forgiveness.  I just thank God that he never let go and didn’t give up on me. 

Going to a Christian school wasn’t easy.   It seemed like some  adults at my small church thought I had it all together because I went there (by choice-left public school in 9th grade).  There was a lot of pressure on me.  They seemed to think I could “help” their kids by being friends with them and reaching out to them.  I remember one lady getting mad because I hadn’t reached out more to her son that wasn’t  living like she wanted him to.  At 16, I had a hard enough time keeping my own life to together on that narrow path.  I really didn’t like the pressure put on me.  There were times I just felt like giving up.   It sure looked a lot more fun on the “other side”.  Giving in to the pressure of just letting go and doing what the majority of my unsaved friends were doing and even my saved friends.  I couldn’t keep the lies up for long.  The sleepless nights, the voice of the Spirit always telling me it’s wrong. 

As a dad I have to remind myself that my kids are growing up in different times.  I can’t put expectations on them. Like how I think they need to live out their walk with God or how I think they need to look  like or how they should act.  I need to model it in front of them. I need to mirror Christ in front of them.  They need to see me living a “crazy” life of faith and loving God with all I have..  I think back and I don’t remember my dad  ever “telling me ” how I should live, but he lived and still lives a godly life and I just sat back and watched.  I still had some sin in my life in my 20’s that I had to struggle and wrestle with God through.  But He kept me close and I saw that His way of living was best for me.  More of Him, less of me was what it boiled down to.

I know the teens in our church and our christian school are hurting and my wife and I, and other leaders pray for them everyday.  Some feel like giving up.  Some just want to vent or be heard.  It would seem so easy to just give in right now.  It hurts us when one of our kids puts on their facebook words like:

If I had one wish,
I would wish to die,
To go to be with God and loved ones,
Into the Heavens, to forever abide.

I cannot continue this,
I can no longer handle life,
Though I try, I always fail,
And I only find more strife.

I’m reminded of a song that came out in ‘98 that I think summed up all the teen angst of the 90’s that seemed to be the buzz word then.  I think it still resounds today.  We all want to belong, to be heard, to be loved, to fit in.  Some will even believe the lie of giving in and walking away from their faith to have this.

1 John

2:13 I am writing to you who are mature because you know Christ, the one who is from the beginning. I am writing to you who are young because you have won your battle with Satan.

2:14 I have written to you, children, because you have known the Father. I have written to you who are mature because you know Christ, the one who is from the beginning. I have written to you who are young because you are strong with God’s word living in your hearts, and you have won your battle with Satan. NLT